Here is my experience with this type of situation: While I was in college in Santa Barbara, I had a good friend that was a girl. This started to cause a lot of issues with Auj and I… Audrey had asked me many times to stop hanging out with this girl as frequently as I was. I was wrapped up in my “harmless” relationship with this girl.Simultaneously, Audrey and I were in a long-distance relationship. but I couldn’t understand why, because in my mind we were just friends, maybe even in her mind too. There came a time where, despite my lack of understanding at the time, if I wanted a healthy relationship with Audrey, I had to say goodbye to my friend.If your deepest desire is to have a strong, healthy, covenant, marriage that is #beating50percent, then you have to be willing to align your strongest desires with your deepest desires. But I was dating to marry, and if Audrey was going to be my wife, then I needed to learn an important lesson So I put myself in Audrey’s shoes, and thought to myself, “What if Audrey had a guy friend who was becoming her best friend, and it wasn’t me…” I hated the thought. Within marriage that would be so wrong it’s insane. I’ve heard people say that being able to have opposite-sex friends is a sign of a healthy relationship. In my opinion, this viewpoint is naive and selfish.I was in love with Audrey and she knew that, this girl was just my who I cared about deeply. Marriages have “ups” and “downs.” During an “up” season, where everything is bright and dandy, it might be easier to allow a seemingly harmless opposite-sex relationship to exist, even if it frustrates your spouse a little bit.No, I am not saying this is the say all end all on the debate.This article is about why and how they CAN ruin your marriage.They need to be filtered through the standard we are choosing to uphold. ” Instead, you should be asking, “Where is the line, and how far can I get from it?To protect your standards, you must create some boundaries. ” Do you want to protect your marriage and make it the most exciting, challenging, rewarding thing in your life?
They are your priority, and your energy and effort should first be devoted to them.
Although my deepest desire was to have a healthy relationship with Audrey that was progressing towards marriage, my strongest desire was to remain friends with this girl.
Sometimes our deepest desires are overridden by our strongest desires. Some people may say that they have always had opposite-sex friends, and marriage shouldn’t have to change that.
They are in a fluid state of giving and taking energy and effort.
Every time you give to someone else the percentage on that scale changes in their favor.
Don’t keep going to lunch alone with that co-worker.