She found that the young children she studied worried about how their parent’s dating process was going to affect them.Children between the ages 5 and 10 were more possessive of their mother than older children.This may be because of the diverted attention in the wake of limited time together due to custody issues.Another possibility is the potential for the new relationship to be the cause of the parent’s divorce.Meet them, talk to them, and spend as much time with them as you can. It will help them and it will help you adjust to this new life easier. Don’t cause a trauma to your child leading him to think that he is a child of garbage. Again, think carefully before starting to date with children, especially introducing your new partner. • Before you start dating again try to “socialize” your kid.No matter what – DO NOT FOCUS your kids on what has happened. • Never say bad things about your former spouse to your child. • Do not think that a small child is different from a teenager in accepting your new partner. Also if your five year old does not like your choice it is hardly possible they will change their attitude at fourteen. Spend more time with friends, in good company, so when you start dating your children won’t feel that your date is taking their time with you, but just a normal time going out.Let me only outline several situations and give some advices which, I do hope, will help you to start dating again having children. The person who used to live with you is no longer in the house. Besides friends and relatives your children are with you.They look at you; they do not want to feel emptiness, and you do not want that either. They will stay father or mother for your kid forever.
If the decision has been made to bring the new partner into the child’s life, make sure that they meet on neutral territory (i.e., not home) in a casual setting.
Your attitudes and behaviors on dating will be a model for your children.
Teenage children are entering a new world of dating behavior that may include sex, and will look to their parents as models of behavior. Research has shown that single parents’- and especially mothers’- attitudes and behaviors on sex and dating influence their children’s attitudes and behaviors.
They are dealing with their own issues of loss, betrayal, adjustment, trust- just to name a few.
Parents need to make sure before things get tricky that children understand their continued importance to them, the freedom for the child(ren) to continue a close loving relationship with the ex-spouse (despite any personal misgivings) and the possibility of new people in the parent’s life.
Introduce the new partner as a “new friend” and not the new “love of my life.” Sensitivity Counts.