Working towards a common goal builds feelings of togetherness, and doing something physical—whether it's training for a half-marathon together or vowing to each lose ten pounds—gives you each an opportunity to encourage and call on each other for support.
Plus, you'll be trying something new together—a surefire relationship rejuvenator, Weiner-Davis says.
"Just like we can act courageously when we're afraid, we can act lovingly and focus on the positive when we're feeling...well, not quite that way," she says.
Today, act like you're madly in love: hug him, kiss him, call him just to say hello, send a loving text.
You may just remember what having a fun conversation is like again!
With the endless stress of daily responsibilities and getting the kids from one place to another, it can be tough to keep those same loving feelings that you felt when you said "I do." A picture of a man kissing a woman on a date in Gdansk; adult; autumn; beautiful; beauty; blurry; casual; caucasian; cheerful; city; copy; couple; dating; day; fall; fashion; female; flirting; fun; gdansk; happiness; happy; healthy; human; kissing; laughing; looking; love; male; nature; outdoors; people; poland; relationship; season; smiling; space; sun; togetherness; valentines; young But while you can't exactly take an impromptu vacation or spend hours in bed like you did as newlyweds, there are some fun (and exciting! Challenge yourself to fall back in love with your husband this month with these 30 tips. )Sure, knowing everything about each other is comfortable, but it's no recipe for romance, says psychologist Harriet Lerner, author of "Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up."Make a rule that for the first ten minutes of any night out, you will not discuss the "business" of your relationship: no kid talk, no work recap.
Try alternative times to have sex—your lunch hour, on a Saturday afternoon when the house is empty or by slipping into his morning shower.
Hugging has been proven to boost levels of oxytocin, a hormone that increases feelings of bonding, particularly in women.
"Practice saying that criticism in three sentences or less," Lerner says. Okay, so maybe you do know the correct, more efficient way to do everything, but what matters in a marriage is not who's right, but that each person is dedicated to contributing to each other's happiness, Lerner says.
"Do this over time and you'll see each other in a more positive light and likely rediscover why you fell in love in the first place."Related: Will your relationship last? Seeing him through his buddies' eyes can reveal endearing facets of his personality that you might not have seen in a while, or maybe ever—how he can tell a joke that brings down the whole room, how kind he is when he's having a conversation with someone he's just the met, or the way that he (surprise! "Give him the space to learn through trial and error, even if you have to leave the room when he's struggling to cut a tomato for the salad or put a snowsuit on your flailing toddler." It's not your job to correct him.
Nope, he doesn't bring home flowers like your best friend's guy. But there are a bazillion ways that he's loving in his own way: how he rubs your back after a long day, his inimitable Saturday morning pancakes, the ridiculous songs he makes up for your kids.
When you find yourself feeling letdown by the things that he doesn't do, make a mental list of what he does.
It may sound counterintuitive, but one of the best ways to increase the passion within your relationship may be to find new ways to develop yourself outside of it. Taking care of yourself will replenish you, making you more receptive to love in your life.