) Let me be clear: I am not questioning or criticizing what woman want from men.
I’m just trying to figure out how men can best conduct themselves within that, and pointing out how unnatural this can seem to them.
I hugged him goodbye to which he responded more coldly than I could ignore. In this post, I will just offer some practical considerations inspired by his post, including a conversation about the post that I had with one of my best friends. ” fascinating, and I have no intention of disputing any of the interesting findings he reports and interprets.My friend responded that this is an argument for taking things more slowly when starting a relationship, to make sure that the communication and understanding between a couple keeps ahead of both the emotional and physical involvement in the relationship, but in a way that doesn’t put out the fires of the passion of the early stages of a relationship. Maybe it’s just me, but if I were dating and trying to achieve the appropriate balance between thoughtful consideration and spontaneous desire, I would consider the costs of failing to show sufficient respect—specifically, the risk of offending or hurting a woman—to be much higher than the costs of showing insufficient desire and passion—mainly, risking making a woman unhappy and endangering the success of the relationship.The way I think about things, I would consider the first risk much more serious than the second, and I would err on the side of respect and consideration. Shpancer calls “the delicate, tentative guy who politely thinks about you and asks if this is okay or that’s okay,” who “may well put you into a sexual coma—not despite these qualities, but because of them.” (Sounds like me all right!He said, okay, he just doesn’t see us happening, but he’ll be happy to stay friends and commission art in the future. Except, one day, out of the fucking blue, he blocked me.