At the same time, you’re less likely to have success when dealing with dating/hook-up apps like Grindr or Tinder. Speaking of the offline dating mindset: you’re going to have to accept that online dating is even more of a numbers game than dating in IRL or meatspace or whatever the cool kids are calling “the world” these days.
This means sending out more cold e-mails, dealing with more rejections and more dates that go nowhere. It’s part of the price of entry, and it’s better that adjust your expectations accordingly instead of dealing with the slow burn of “WHY WON’T THE MAGICAL BOX PROVIDE ME WITH SEX?
OKCupid, for example, is structured more heavily towards casual dating and hooking up.
Match.com, on the other hand, leans towards more conventional relationships while e Harmony is specifically marketed towards (straight) people who are looking to get married ASAP while Plenty of Fish is the dating equivalent of a long weekend in Innsmouth.
One of the advantages of online dating is that you are capable of carrying on several asynchronous conversations, fielding responses from persons X and Y while also sending out an introductory message to person Z. Focusing on one single person – even if you’re at the “meeting in person” stage – puts far too much importance on them and makes it sting worse if it doesn’t work out the way you’d hope. Everyone has heard it a thousand times before they saw your profile and they didn’t believe it any of those times either.
In the great chain of credibility, being told something is the least believable.
In online forums and gaming – where many people meet their partners – how we express ourselves and our personality acts as the initial attractors.
In the physical world, unless you’re Jack Harkness, flirting with several different people simultaneously is a major faux-pas and likely to leave you going home alone – possibly wearing several drinks.
I’m going to tell you something that you already know: dating is a frustrating process of trial and error.
For a lot of people, it’s a seemingly never-ending dance of missed connections, nights you’ll never get back again and wondering just what’s wrong with you and why everybody else seems to have it so much easier. In fact, for many people, online dating is such a trial that they give up early on.
The first step to overcoming your frustration with online dating is to adjust your mindset and expectations accordingly.
Online dating takes a different attitude and skill-set than, say, making cold approaches at a bar or flirting with someone you met at a house party.
Even for people like me who the whole dance and the chase and the thrill of the new, there will be points when you really just want to take a step back from it for a while and catch your breath and let your ego recover from the beatings that tend to come with it. But just as when you’re trying to meet your future snugglebunny the old-fashioned way, it’s important to understand the potential headaches that come with those marathon OKCupid sessions.