When I was nine I attempted to jump my new Standish 12 Selectaspeed racing bike across a creek.Building a ramp from timber removed from an adjoining playground fort, I calculated that a speed of 150mph, based on a previous evening's episode of Knight Rider, would see me safely over the fifteen metre gap.While I may not have your experience running a business, I am pretty sure that if I owned a shop that sold chairs and you entered and said to me, "Hello shopkeeper, I am looking for something to sit on" and I replied "Sure, this one should suit your needs perfectly, it is made for sitting on" and you purchased the chair, took it home, sat on it, and it exploded, taking out previously purchased furniture with it, you would probably drive back to my shop and say, "Excuse me, I bought this chair an hour ago, used it in the manner you recommended, and it exploded - I am not asking for compensation for my other furniture but would like to exchange it for a non-exploding chair that performs in the manner originally described." Responding with anything other than "I do apologise, here's a replacement" would certainly come as a surprise to you and I doubt "Fuck off, you sat in it" would mean I'd see you, Fatty, Tattoey and Fuzzy at my premises the following week shopping for cushions. Having seen the publicity photo of you with your staff, I realise you probably use a child's board but what length would you recommend for a normal sized human?What would be ideal is a really wide snowsurfingboard with handles that I can lay down on. Perhaps with some kind of caterpillar tread based wheel system and a motor so that you can ride it up the hill instead of having to take the ski-lift. From: [email protected]: Friday 21 January 2011 11.04am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Advertisement Its snowboarding not snowsurfing and 5"8 isn't short dickwad.Přečtěte si další informace, mimo jiné i to, jaké máte možnosti: zásady používání souborů cookie.
Approximately half way over the creek and realising my trajectory was not going to make the distance, I attempted to pull the bike upwards, a midair bunny hop if you will, resulting in the handlebars separating from the frame.Although Tattooey provided him with a diagnosis of "dude, dont' pick it, let it scab" that could only stem from several years in medical school, Fatty was less than impressed and only gave it a mild glance and noncommittal grunt before going back to playing Angry Birds.I should probably be thankful that your staff were too occupied with having their earlobes stretched by Tonka-truck tyres and wearing pants around their knees to sell me a snowsurfingboard made of sugar or goggles made of bees.Arriving at your store a short time later, I explained to a salesperson that I required warm clothing and "a pair of waterproof gloves for use in the snow." Based on his brand recommendation and assurance that they would perform in the manner required, I purchased a pair of 180's snow gloves, along with several other items of snow related clothing, and ventured back to the slopes.Assuming the gloves would be waterproof for use in the snow (possibly due to being told "these are waterproof gloves for use in the snow") I was surprised to find they became soaked within seconds and bled black ink down my sleeves and all over the front of my jacket. If I was working that day I would have told you to fuck off too.I'm sure there are many advantages to being so small. Thirty minutes of watching instructional Youtube videos have to count for something.